By Lorentz Forsberg
As soon as I clicked ‘Send’ I knew I had made a mistake. I knew that this message was not the sort to write and send in anger. At the same time I felt a rush of excitement. I thought: ‘Finally I’m showing some guts, I’m proving I’m no longer just a lap-dog’.
My email essentially accused a group of colleagues of being the root cause of the culture of criticism that I felt had come to permeate all our office interactions. In my brief moment of ‘righteous fury’ I was convinced that the blame was all but mine. In one blow, however uncharacteristic, I managed to jeopardise years of trust and (mostly) good relations.
The golden part of this story is how my colleagues reacted and how they acted towards me. Yes, there were some tears and awkward moments. But as I look back on the days that followed I can honestly say that they have become a precious memory for me. As I was trying to clean up the mess I had made, I encountered so much love and care. I soon saw a maturity in my colleagues, that previously I had been blind to. My contempt transformed into awe and appreciation.
I know I should not have sent that e-mail. But all the same I love the effect it had…
What e-mails should you not send? What can you do instead?
By Pieter Messelink
You might recognise the situation: you’re giving some input in a training or a meeting. You can see a mixed response. Some heads nodding, but others frowning, looking as if they want to burn down your ideas. I know I’m sensitive to negative feedback. To avoid the pain I tend to externalise blame. It must be someone else’s fault. This natural reaction is usually not the best ground for learning and development.
So whenever I get negative feedback I’ve started to ask myself three questions:
1. Where is the source of my identity?
If my identity comes from what I do or say, I’m in trouble. I remind myself that first and foremost I’m a child of God. Because of his amazing and borderless grace, I’m loved unconditionally. God is the source of life and wants the best for me.
2. What is God saying to me in this situation?
I take captive my own thoughts and re-align myself with my sense of calling. I seek to hear God’s perspective on the situation and then seek to respond. I do this whenever I’m preparing inputs for a training or a meeting. I remind myself: For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10)
3. Am I willing to see those who criticise me as my coach?
God works through community. We are not meant to be lone or lonely rangers. A trusting team provides a solid base, helping me to distinguish the constructive feedback from the destructive.
By Elaine Vitikainen
During the last day of the Encounter for Nordic FBO Leaders in March, there was a question from one of the participants. She asked Rick and I to explain what is Space for Grace. This surprised me. After being together for almost two days, it was unclear what Space for Grace is.
So what is Space for Grace? What does it mean? How can we create it? How does it influence my work? How can it be integrated into my busy work life? Here is a page on the website which explains what is Space for Grace. A Webinar from March 2017 can also be found on this page. We also prepared a Sketchnote which tells about Space for Grace.
If you would like to know more, please don’t hesitate to contact Elaine Vitikainen (email@example.com) and Rick James (firstname.lastname@example.org).
By Rick James
‘It may sound odd for a professor of business to say this, but I reckon that our organisations could do with a deal more loving, a bit more forgiveness and a lot more faith in other people’.
It’s one of my favourite quotes from Charles Handy, a leading management writers over the last 50 years.
But forgiveness is really tough. Bishop Isaiah Dau’s inspiring story ‘But what about my brother’s killers?’ made this abundantly clear in the May bulletin. I was encouraged when Isaiah said forgiveness for him was an on-going process, “a daily struggle” that “keeps coming back”. I can relate to this. Perhaps when Jesus said we had to forgive seventy times seven times, he might also have meant that we had to forgive the same offence over and over again.
How do people in your organisation respond when things go wrong; when people let them down? How do you react? Mistrust and resentment may be reasonable, but ultimately destructive, responses. The only real antidote is facing the situation with both truth and grace (John 1:14). It may be unappealing and a huge struggle, but it is only forgiveness that can really transform difficult workplace relationships.
What could you do this week to make ‘truth and grace’ more part of your office culture?
By Alice Wainaina
What do you do when the powers that be block sensible, well-intended change?
I was assisting a children’s charity with a launch of their programme for secondary school children. Although the TOR was focused on the launch, I felt it was imperative to discuss it in the context of the institution’s sustainability. The director was relieved at being able to voice some long-standing fears about sustainability. We considered various scenarios. He eventually decided they had to shift their approach from institutional care to a family-centred approach.
I met later with a team of the charity’s donors who were visiting. While pleased with the plans for the launch, they were clearly uncomfortable with the proposed change of approach. Their fundraising was based on an orphanage-type model. Despite my efforts to explain globally-accepted good practice, they were obviously unconvinced – as after they met with the director, I found myself locked out of any further discussions.
It was hard not to take it personally. I felt upset. I wanted to judge the leader for his lack of leadership. But despite the silence from him and the donor team I had met, I forced myself to keep communicating. I tried to do this with humility and gentleness, but without wavering in my conviction. One section of the donors kept up the communication. These had realised that institutional care was not the best option for the organisation in the long term, nor even for the children. Others, however, still put their own fundraising interests first. Eventually the director of the orphanage also called. He updated me on the children’s progress but did not bring up the issue of sustainability and shift in approach. After his long silence I did not think it prudent to force it on him. I do not know what will happen. The future of the charity is at stake. Sometimes all you can do is watch and pray.
This week, who should we keep communicating with, despite their silence or opposition?
Which situations of power do we need to respond to with humility, gentleness and conviction?
By Lorentz Forsberg
“Read this… and then we can talk”. Those were the very first words my new colleague said on my first day at work. He placed a pile of papers from a South African organization on my desk. Of course I did as he asked. I realized as I read that I could not have had a better introduction to the exciting, yet chaotic and frustrating story of human and organizational change. It was so personal that it smelled of mother’s cooking and father’s shaving. It touched my heart. I also realized that I had found a soul mate in my new colleague. He became my mentor.
Almost 20 years on, I now see how much that mentoring relationship profoundly shaped who I am at work today. Many of my flaws and vulnerabilities are still there – and I might even have added a few – but the core belief in the deep meaning of development has been nurtured and become embedded into my being. That is the greatest gift I received from my mentor.
Now, in my early 40´s I’m slowly realizing that I am in a position to mentor others. And as I look around, I see many others who should be mentoring our energetic recruits. We may think we have nothing to offer, but we do. Remember, the beginning of a beautiful mentorship can be as simple as: “Read this”.
What would be the first thing you put in the hands of a new employee? (but please not your annual report!)
Who could you be mentoring? How might you make it happen?
By Rick James
It is a privilege and responsibility to intervene in an organisation – whether as leader, as Organisational Development consultant or as a funder. When we step in we are treading on people’s lives – their identity, their sense of self. What we do and say can have a profound and personal impact on them. It can influence their relationships with those around them and even their relationship with God. We have the potential to do good, but we also have the potential to do harm. To intervene in any organisation involves a sacred trust.
Every now and then I wonder, do I really have any inkling of the responsibility I carry? If so, would I not do my work with more effort, more diligence, perhaps even with ‘fear and trembling’? It makes me ask myself lots of questions:
Do I really try to bring the very best of myself to my work each day ?
Do I ensure I am mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepared when I intervene in an organisation’s life?
Am I being a steward of grace in my relationship with this organisation?
By Rick James
It’s strange that the Sabbath is the only commandment we feel it is OK to break. We are just too busy. But as Corrie ten Boom warned: ‘Busy is not just a disordered schedule, it is a disordered heart’.
The Sabbath is key to cultivate a spirit of rest. Rest is not an optional extra. It is built into the way we are made. Sabbath rest is like the law of gravity. We cannot ignore it. Depending on how we respond, it will either come as disappointment (through stress, broken relationships, burn-out) or delight.
It’s not surprise then that God commands us to set aside one day a week as holy. This is not about merely swapping domestic chores for office chores. Keeping the Sabbath is about making space to do the things that restore our souls; that bring us delight – not just going to church, but also having fun with family and friends. To help him decide how to use his time on the Sabbath, church leader John Mark Comer asks himself two questions: “Is this worship? Is this rest?”
For some in North America and Europe, the ‘holiday’ season is approaching, but wherever we are, let’s create a healthy habits of keeping Holy days.
By Dorothy Grace Stewart
Like many of you my work has taken me away from home for varying amounts of time – a privilege but not without challenge. A close friend began to pray for ‘people of peace to cross my path.’ I have followed this example and been overwhelmed by the way this prayer has been answered time and again.
Have you ever looked back on a piece of work and thought, “That person made all the difference?” So often, I have found that there are one or two individuals I meet during a consultancy that seemingly have been put in that organisation for such a time as this. They are courageous individuals who continue to allow themselves to be affected by the Holy Spirit for communal good; men and women who often have quiet ministries to their teams; people who are committed to the nudging of the Holy Spirit more than vision statements, strategic goals or expert consultants.
Jesus encouraged his followers to faithfully look for the individuals who were already partnering with the Holy Spirit in their own communities and directed them to pay attention (Luke 10).
Pray for ‘people of peace’ to cross your path?
Pray for them to have discernment in listening to God for their organisations, courage in acting when necessary and influence in the larger life of the organisation.
By Elaine Vitikainen
I was facilitating a workshop on implementing a strategic plan. We spent
a lot of time discussing staff engagement. It seemed to be a major issue. I asked the eight participants from different projects the question: ‘How do you motivate staff to get more engaged in their work?’ I was shocked. Together they came up with 89 ideas! They were overflowing with creative ways to motivate and inspire staff.
We limit our thinking when we assume that staff are simply motivated by external rewards. We are misguided if we think motivation is all about salaries and benefits. Research reveals
a different reality. The top motivator for staff performance is not salary, but it is being recognised for a job well done. People usually respond well to positive, truthful feedback from others. Genuine and encouraging words cost nothing. Yet somehow, despite their positive impact on performance, they are still surprisingly rare.
Who do you need to motivate?
What really makes them tick and how could you motivate them?